I had the MOST interesting evening tonight.... right now, all I can do is laugh and notice the annoying pain.

Well anyways.. me and my parents are gonna go to Starbucks for coffee or whatever. We get outside and my dad sees our regular snake who's been in our yard for YEARS and is friendly and has never bitten anyone in our family. But today was different. My dad caught him as he was crossing the street. He was biting him a little and then quit. Knowing that he never bites anyone, I stroke his side... OUCH! I GET FREAKIN' BIT!

So.. I panic and run for the front door but then I guess I panicked even more and dropped my purse and everything. I guess I got so panicked strucken, I started crying for worried I'd die of poison or worse. My dad was catching the snake, mom called 911. We didn't know what kind of snake it was and I could of swore my dad said Water Moccasin, which are poisonous and cause you to go into seizures in 5-10 minutes.

10 minutes later, a firetruck, and an ambulance arrived.. lol, for one person. Paramedics came up, asked questions, cleaned me up, etc. etc. They were gonna take me to the ER by ambulance, but my parents took me instead. We get there, and we ended up waiting about 1 hour before I get seen by a person and brought back to a whole area with other kids and people waiting to been see by a doctor.. this is when it gets fun x_x

So, I'm sitting here, with a throbbing, painful finger going cold and hot on and off, getting annoyed, dizzy, sick feeling and with a huge headache. I took pictures eventually out of boredum..

BELOW: This is after the paramedics cleaned it up and I got the small bandage taken off. My finger had about 4 strikes on each side and two big ones at the tip.

It doesn't look so bad, but this is after they cleaned it up.. it was horrible when I got bit.





After waiting about, oooooh, 4 or 6 HOURS! I finally get a doctor to assist me. I find out, I have to get a Tetanus shot and Diphtheria shot for in case of infections. Let me tell ya, the one in my arm wasn't bad... but I had to get the other in my ass cheek, YES MY BUTT CHEEK! GAAH! It hurt... alot. I couldn't even walk...

After those, I got my hand wrapped, I can't get it wet at all for two or three days. I have to be on anti-biotics for a week, twice a day to fight off any bad germs or infections wanting to come around.

I was in so much pain from the shots to the injury itself, that all my body knew how to do, was cry.. basically, when I'm crying over this kinda pain, it means my body has already endured most of the pain. I know my pain threshold very well and I've been the most worst pains a female can endure.

BELOW: This is after it's all cleaned and wrapped up



BELOW: This is after waiting for 4-6 hours to get seen by another doctor and have it wrapped and get my shots.



Soooo...

Pretty much my night was interesting. I can't do much right now. Typing is hard and washing my hair is, ugh. My arm is sore and I can't even lay on it. My hip and left side of my butt are sore too. And I know once I wake up, they're gonna be stiff, from the side effects of the shot..

BELOW: Tetanus shot, FTW!



The kid next to the room I was in, was SCREAMING at the top of her lungs.. and it was making my headache worse. She apparently had an ear infection, but you don't take that kinda thing to an ER room unless you've waited till it's gotten critical. This kid was a brat wanting attention. There's a point of crying over pain, but she was doing it for attention and one point. Everyone in the area was bothered by it. And OMG, when they gave her the shot, it was screaming galore -_- like, jeez, a shot does not hurt THAT bad. You could just tell by her conjestion that it had been there for awhile. lol, the parents said she had the infection since Friday, FRIDAY?! Take her to a damn doctor, so someone with a REAL emergency like me, can get help. ALL THE DOCTORS AND NURSES WERE PAYING ATTENTION TO HER AND I WAS SITTING PATIENTLY WITH A HURTING HAND!

Talk about endure pain..

I wanted to slap that kid. There is no cause to scream that loud over something like that. Hell, even my parents could tell she was doing it for attention. I bet anyone could. There was a little girl with an injury across from me, maybe like 5 years old, and she wasn't even crying that much -_-

Hmmm. Most of you are probably wondering... WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DAWN?! Answer? Eh, I'd rather not disclose. Things have been said, things have been done, and Pharaoh's wrath has begun. So let us be shunned..

A lot has happened these past weeks I haven't been on dA. I haven't drawn anything, I haven't made any jewelry, I haven't worked on any artwork, haven't taken any shots lately. Haven't felt like it. I haven't worked on my Rahmi story either. I've been mostly on Guild Wars, lately. Guild Wars is the only place I can kinda escape from the true reality I live in right now. I don't want to think about it and I do my best to ignore it,

I've been having to deal with an insomnia problem lately and now it's getting to the point where it kicks in for 3 to 4 days straight and gives out after 4 days usually. I can sleep, but it's not restful and it's during the wrong times. I've been dealing with one of my bad ankles pain kicking in as well, where it continuously hurts for days making it horrible to walk on but I've dealt with it.

I'm getting new glasses!

Right now, you probably won't see much of me on here or anywhere online, unless you're one of my buddies who know me on Guild Wars. I probably won't submit anything either or reply to many comments unless their important. Who knows, really.

And now I know why the song "Deliver Us" from The Prince of Egypt tugs at my heart. I feel like I'm in their situation right now. Pulling damn limestone slabs to big stuff for an evil leader, and that I want to be saved and be brought to a better place of hope and promise. A promise land..

Well, that's it from me. I'm going back to hide in the sands of Desolation..

I've about had it with PayPal.com. I recently about three weeks ago signed up with them so I could use them to safely buy things online like bead supplies and deviantART.com subscriptions and other small thing and sell my jewelry online.

For those of you who know PayPal, you know where you first add a bank and you choose checking or savings? I chose checking. I put it all in, wait a couple of days, get the amounts on my statement which just happen to come in at the end of the month, and I have know idea how to put them in. I might have screwed it up once trying to guess the amount on my online balance, but when I got the statement, I was clueless. And then I accidentally ended up getting my entire bank account number disabled from being re-added and used. It's like their saying I'm stealing my own account..

This really has pissed me off. It says that in order to get it "undisabled", I have to fax my personal information, driver's license information and bank account information to them! No way in hell am I doing that. That's a one way ticket to fraud. You don't know WHO'S hand your information will be in once it's gone past your fax machines hands and into another. I WANT ANSWERS!

Anyways, this is the SECOND time I've contacted them about this. Hopefully, I'll get a respond.

This is the message I sent them, since those losers haven't heard of the word "e-mail":

About three weeks ago, I signed up with PayPal. I got the two deducted amounts on my bank account statement, but didn't know which ones to submit and accidentally got my account disabled from being added and used. I do not want to fax any of my personal or bank account information to PayPal.

Is there any way that I can get this resolved?

I have already e-mail PayPal once already about this and got absolutely no response or help.

Plus, their phone contact is no help either. It's an automated voice thing. I want to talk to a representative like my bank gives me, not some robot voice!

Now I can't even put PayPal as a payment option for my Etsy shop because of these losers and their stupid verification rules. And if this doesn't get solved, I will most likely shut my shop down! Most people don't have money orders and use credit cards, etc. to buy online.

In the name of King Tutankhamen! I want answers!

I really don't expect anyone to read this... But. Lately, I have no idea what's going on around me and frankly, I'm half given up on a lot of things. Inside, I'm wasting away to nothing and mentally, I'm tearing apart, brain cell by brain cell. I'll try to explain as best I can.. not that anyone bothers to give a darn. Some people do though and they know who they on here and in real life.

Physically, I'm alive and dealing with ridiculous crap conditions. Due to my recent depression over my life and college which is also a big depression in my life, my weight has dropped all the way down to 120. I remember when I was with my ex boyfriend and at graduation, I was around 135 to 140 pounds. I starved myself for two weeks and cut myself every night beginning the following morning he dumped me over the phone and tore my personality in half. I have never fulled recovered from the starvation but I was lucky to make it out alive. That whole 6 months was hell for me and I had to battle it on my own. But, 130 is my normal weight. 120 is VERY low for me and my height and once I get to 118, my doctors gets concerned, and he's known we since I was a baby and has known my family for years. For goodness sakes I've gone down in bra size I just haven't felt like eating lately and I'm perfectly fine in I waste away like that. I'm so hungry that no matter how much I eat, my blazing wasteland of a metabolism burns it.

But, I am starting to make an effort to at least eat three times a day so I don't know.. if my weight doesn't come back, then I'm just going to say fuck it. I always wanted to know what starving to death was like..

Also, I'm sleep walking more often and my insomnia is making it all worse now to where I'm being forced to pull all-nighters about three or four times a week. The other day I hadn't had sleep for three days and I had sleep walked to where I had put the same tylenol bottle I put on the counter from taking some for leg pain, and had put it in my mother's lunch bag. It was me, since no one else put it there. I woke up one morning the other week and noticed my eye glasses case had been moved to another table in my room when they normally sit on my dresser and are there before I go to sleep. Imagine if I were to take them out while sleep walking.

And I'm totally unaware of this and don't even remember doing it when I awaken. Sleep walking is usually cased by stress. I'm also have more nightmares often and I'm disoriented when I wake up a lot now.

Mentally, I'm horrible. I'll say this and admit it.. I'm not ok upstairs in my head. I'm literally split down the middle. It's been like that ever since I was raped and abused by the guy I dated 5 years ago and mentally, it still haunts me to this day. Yeah, I'm over it and all but it still haunts me. Which is why I'm coming to a conclusion that I'm dual personality. See, there's this other side of me that it's very scary, to me, my parents, friends I had and used to have, and my ex boyfriend. It's ruined most of my relationships. It's like a darker anger inside me, deep down inside the core of me that can't been found and it comes out whenever it wants and takes over me and I can't fight it. When it takes over, I'm completely different and it's scary to everyone who sees it. And whenever it's done taking over, I have almost no memory of it happening. It's another cause of my insomnia and sleep walking, which those two are caused by mental disorders. Sleep walking with me is dangerous since I can go far..

My suicidal thoughts have come around more often too. This suicidal thing is making me believe I may have committed suicide in my previous life or had thoughts of it, or had tried to commit but was saved. I'm also coming to the conclusion that I was a Ancient Egyptian high priest.. it more so fits me. I've always felt close to Pharaohs when I've read about them and everytime I come across a situation they were in, I always have good advice going through my head for that situation. And plus, I feel close to the Egyptian Gods. I know I was male with an attitude similar to mine and my helpful advisable self that I am now comes from that advisable being that I was. I don't know...

This all is tearing me up inside my head and there's only so far I can go with it. No one believes me when I tell them it's like I have another side to me. My parents should know, they've seen it on countless occasions.

As for artwork, I have noticed that all my artwork is crap, well to me it's crap and it isn't done right. My photography is horrible lately and I can't seem to find a creative "spark" in some ordinary tree. I must admit, I love photography and taking my camera of doom outside and finding things in my yard to snap photos of...

I get almost no comments or critique on my art types, which is drawing and photography and digital artwork.. the one thing that I NEED critique on.. I get nothing. My first sketch of the first part of "War Against The Fleas", I need critique and suggestions if I should ink it, I ask on the artist's comments, and I don't get shit from anyone, but 45 views. In all those views, someone could at least answered my question.



Although, it's still being worked on, but I'm slowly giving up on it. I just haven't found the passion lately to work on it and I never get time.

I rarely ever get any comments or critique anymore. I get nice comments and favorites and I love them but I don't get critique which is really what I kinda want. I'm thinking of permanently leaving deviantART. I see no point in coming here and uploading artwork anymore for some reason...

And plus my computer is a piece of crap now. It lags more and it's pissing me off to where the point I don't want to be on it anymore. It has 4 GB of memory and it also hyper threads and multi-tasks.. WTH. It's time to be a ninja, I guess.. and SEEK AND DESTROY!

If any of you know about my little etsy shop that's not selling my unique hand-crafted jewelry pieces, I have some rather nice updates about it.

1. My shop is now growing in size. It's still small and hardly noticed and hardly anyone visits, so if you like what you guys see, tell your friends and help me get some visitors :]

2. Plus, Please add my Etsy shop's deviantART account It can be found here: [link] All my pieces will be uploaded there for right now. I see no point in uploading on this account anymore.. for some reason I feel like no one bothers with viewing them except a few people. So I don't know. Just add it if you want.

3. I have a blog on BlogSpot now. I've been seeing other Etsy sellers doing these little etsy and artisan features on blogs all over the internet and I've decided to join in the fun. The blog is here: [link]

4. I have a Myspace for my Etsy shop. I guess this is just another little place where I can display my pieces and past work and other things bead related. The myspace can be found here: [link]

That's it for updates for right now.