Me and my dad took him to the vet this afternoon. Our regular vet who has known all of our pets since the first got Shawnee back in 1986, was in surgery for the week so we were seen by his father-in-law. He said the poor bird looked awful and was very under weight.. probably because of the store most likely. I'm hand feeding right now pretty much. His beak is a little malformed due to malnutrition.

Anywho, he got his tools and opened the area that was covered in dried bloody feathers and saw dead skin, he pulled that off and there was a laceration (an injury to the skin and the soft tissue underneath it) and at first he thought it was a cyst. He put the tool in the hole that was there and could actually go deeper. It was nasty looking man. He had to pluck his feathers out just to get to this injured area.

The Area: [link]

So they took him to the back, put some stitches on the area and he has a collar to help prevent him from picking at the stitches. The stitches with hopefully help him heal and keep infection out. With this collar, it makes him hard to walk, eat, perch and I pretty much have to hand feed him and give him his medicine twice a day by oral.

Basically, this is called a "guarded condition" which means he has a good chance of dieing or living. They don't know. It all depends on how the anti-boitics, my care and his healing goes. People, please pray for my baby =[

This is so horrible. I feel so bad for my baby. He's so drained from putting up a fight and being shocked from going to the vet for the first time. My parents and I have a feeling this problem was there before we bought these birds. Ash is perfectly fine.

My heart is aching in sorrow and pain. If you read my last journal about my Blitz's injury, mom checked it again before she went to sleep, it was bleeding again. Which means it started bleeding again. She put some neosporin on it (yeah, birds are safe and can heal with it) His injury looks like an attack though, but I don't know if anything attacked him, unless Ash is being a jealous brat again x.x I'll need to spend some quality time with him tomorrow.

I'm so fucking worried. I feel awful and guilty. I can not lose another bird, I feel like it's all my fault, that I didn't protect my little precious baby from the things that might hurt him. ;______;

I'm praying to GOD! I prayed just before getting into bed and I got back out of bed to type this to get it out of my head. It's bothering me so much. He seems to be ok for right now. I checked on him. He's trying to sleep, which is good for him; rest.

I give up any talent for him. Hell, I'd give up my violin and viola natural talent of playing for him to live. He reminds me sooo much of my first bird who died 5 years ago. I don't want to wake up to a dead bird. Not like Max..not like him 5 years ago. I keep seeing flashbacks of waking up to seeing my bird, Max, dead on the bottom on his cage, which is what I saw 5 years ago which I got seriously depressed over..

Please God.. let him live.

I'd give every ounce of blood in me and I have the rare type of blood, a very rare type. Very weird too. Who knows x.x I told you my body is a freakin' tank.

Blitz =[ Please fight with me baby. I'll give you fighting energy, I'll fight off the germs and all badness >:3 Come on God, if not Max, if not dumb ass Richard, please let Blitz live. He's so young and I'm sorry if there was anything I did =[

I seriously feel like I did something but I didn't do anything. It all happen so fast. All I saw was blood on him...and no traces anywhere..

My feet hurt. My eyes hurt from crying so much tonight. My brain is fried. All I can stand to listen to is Classical music...

It wasn't my fault. I really don't know who's fault it is. But my new bird, Blitz, the white one, the very sweet one who was nuzzling me even in the store and starting to bond with me somewhat, has endured an injury =[

He was taking a nap on the chair bar I sit in at the computer and I guess he got scared when the gray one pecked him or I moved suddenly and he flew up and must of hit the bar. His lower chest area was apparently bleeding, but when I noticed the spot, it had already dried.

He seems to be fine though. He's breathing normally and he was whistling and what not and calling to the other bird like they've been doing.

I'm frantic. My parents spent a load of money on the other bird =[ and on these new birds and I don't want to see another one die. I can't take more birds dieing. I feel HORRIBLE =[

But mom is on her way home from work to see if we can go by the store and see if there is anything we can do, because you can't bring back a dead bird...

PLEASE GOD! DON'T LET HIM DIE =[ He reminds me so much of the first Maximum I had 5 years ago.. please God. Not another one.

I'm in tears =[

Even as I type this up, I'm feeling homesick :[ I felt homesick when I was putting new perches in the old cage Max was in, even after scrubbing that thing down today. Mom says it's memories being brought back.
I made my decision. I got the two birds at the pet store. I'd more than love to bring that owned cockatiel but I really think the lady should reconsider selling her bird. I fear if it gets parted from her, it'll go into depression or shock. He's so well bonded to her. And YES! Birds can become depressed and get many diseases and personalities disorders like humans. But anyways I chose the two. I can't tell the sexes yet since they're still quite young. Here are some pictures I've taken so far:

The gray one is named Ash, well because he looks like a pile of Ash :] and he's a very curious bird, although he's very shy and skittish and gets spooked easily, he likes to climb up my head and be up high.

Ash and Kiwi.